


The Hazards of Having Friends Who Can't Get Drunk

by lonechicken



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Intoxication, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27754342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonechicken/pseuds/lonechicken
Summary: Stiles has some things he needs to get off his chest.Or:Five times Stiles gets drunk and rambles about his feelings, and one time he's sober.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 11
Kudos: 85





	1. Derek

**Author's Note:**

> I tagged for this, but it is DIALOGUE ONLY, just for a double heads up. 
> 
> It's literally just Stiles rambling to people about different things that my brain wanted to explore. 
> 
> Stiles always talks first, just in case it's unclear who's speaking. I did my best.
> 
> Enjoy!

“And then Liam just said ‘I have an idea’, and ran off.” 

“Never heard that before.”

“We were never that bad.” 

“No, you were worse. You’d just go off and get yourself into trouble, and not tell anyone about it, and we’d have to come rescue you.” 

“Um, excuse you, I think you’re talking about you, mister claws first, too injured to ask questions later.” 

“Werewolf.”

“That’s not an excuse! You’re not invincible, do you even remember how many times you’ve almost died?” 

“I imagine not that many more than you. And I’m not the one who has to spend weeks in the hospital afterwards.”

“I haven’t had to go to the hospital in months, thank you very much.”

“Sure. But the last time you had to go was because you lost a toe.”

“Occupational hazard.”

“From a job you chose.”

“Well, I couldn’t just go back to being a, I dunno, a gardener or something.”

“There’s nothing wrong with the quiet life.”

“Says you.”

“You’re gonna burn out in six months.”

“Ouch. Glad to know you have so much faith in me.”

“You can’t just keep going all the time. I know you think you got used to it because you haven’t had a break in three years, but you’re going to crash eventually. Everyone does.”

“Is that what you did?”

“I did say everyone.”

“I’m worried about them.”

“Who.”

“Everyone.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m so proud of them, too. Is it weird to say it feels like they’ve grown up so fast?”

“You all had to.”

“You did too.”

“I’m proud of you, too, you know.”

“Same, Sourwolf.”

“…”

“Are you blushing?!”

“Shut up, Stiles.”


	2. Dad

“I would have been such a good FBI agent.”

“You would have.”

“I just want to help people.”

“I know, son.”

“But that’s not really what they do. I mean they solve mysteries, which I’m good at, and like. Stop people from committing more crimes. But they’re not actually helping people. They’re not changing the system so the crimes don’t happen. They’re not preventing the crimes. It’s just… damage control.”

“I know, Stiles.”

“I wish I could get paid to help people with their supernatural problems. It’s too bad that’s not a job.”

“You could make it a job.”

“I guess. But I feel weird charging people when they need help with something they don’t understand. Like ‘pay me five hundred dollars or else you’ll die’. I don’t wanna be that kind of person.”

“That’s not what it would be like.”

“I guess. I just want to help people. I want to use the things I’m good at to help people. And I want to be able to afford like. Food.”

“That’s capitalism for you.”

“Capitalism sucks.”

“It does.”


	3. Scott

“Am I a bad son?”

“Why would you say that?”

“I just… sometimes I feel like I’m not good enough.”

“Stiles…”

“I know it’s not logical, you don’t need to be a good kid for your parent to love you or whatever.”

“Stiles, you are the best son your dad could ask for.”

“I’m not, though.”

“I thought you guys had talked about this.”

“I mean, a little. We did. Kinda. Not about all of it. I had to explain werewolves, and about Donovan, and being bi even after he told me I couldn’t be gay, that was a fun conversation.”

“When did—”

“It was a misunderstanding. We were at the Jungle and I thought it would be the best cover story, but obviously that wasn’t why we were there and my dad didn’t buy it. I didn’t think much of it at the time because I didn’t think I was either, but then later, when I realized I was at least a little bit gay… it made it harder to tell him. Not because I thought he’d have a problem with it or anything, but because we’d already sorta had that conversation and I was worried he’d brush it off again even if this time I was being serious.”

“But he didn’t.”

“No he didn’t. And he was pretty cool about walking in on me making out with a guy too.”

“Stiles! That’s how he found out?”

“Not the best way it could have happened, but not the worst either.”

“Is that why you think you’re a bad son?”

“No. I just feel like… I could do more. It’s just me and him, you know, we’re each other’s whole family. We have other people in our lives, but we’re the only family we have left. And I feel like I should take better care of him—”

“You know that’s not your job.”

“It is through! Because—”

“You’re each other’s last family, I know.”

“Right. And I try, I try so hard, and I have for so long, and sometimes I think I do okay, but I’m so worried that it’s not enough.”

“It’s more than enough.”

“Plus there’s the werewolves, and the lying, and really it’s my fault we’re even involved in the supernatural at all. Any of us.”

“Stiles…”

“No, it is, if I hadn’t dragged you out to look for a body in the woods none of this would have happened.”

“You’re right. But it could have been a lot worse.”

“You don’t know that.”

“At least for Derek, if no one else.”

“Yeah. Maybe. But it would have been better for my dad.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Sure I do.”

“What if Peter hadn’t bitten me? What if he’d bitten someone else, killed someone else. What if it was your dad?”

“He wouldn’t have.”

“He might have. We don’t know, Stiles. You can’t change the past. You’re a good son. Your dad would say so too.”

“I know he would.”

“Well, there you go.”

“But I could be better.”

“We all could be better. What matters is every day we try a little more to get there.”


	4. Lydia

“I just… Scott is my best friend. He’s my brother. But sometimes it feels like…”

“Like what?”

“Like he’s set this impossible standard for goodness and perfection and if I don’t measure up I’m a disappointment.”

“That’s kinda what it felt like when you used to have a crush on me, you know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You said you saw me, the real me, but you put me up on this pedestal where I could do no wrong even when I was an asshole to you. You justified it, because you said you were a loser, and I was popular, and that’s just how it was, but that’s how popularity works, and it wouldn’t if people would stop idolizing assholes just because they’re pretty.”

“And smart.”

“Not all popular assholes are smart.”

“I know. But you are.”

“Obviously.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“I wish I hadn’t made you feel that way. I only ever wanted you to feel… good.”

“I know, Stiles.”

“But it shouldn’t be that way with Scott.”

“You’re right.”

“Like… after… Donovan. And with Theo, and Ethan and Aiden and Deucalion and even Peter… They were all murderers. Like cold blooded, premeditated, I’m going to kill you for power because I can bad dudes. And as soon as they turned around and were like ‘oops, my bad’, Scott just opened his arms and was like ‘it’s all good, I forgive you, welcome to the pack’. And with me… he didn’t even listen. He didn’t even think to ask me, ‘hey Stiles, were you maybe attacked and used self defence and accidentally got someone killed while you were running away’, he just accepted that Iw as a murderer and decided that he was done with me. Me! We’ve known each other since kindergarten and he thought I would — that I could! And I mean if I had to I would kill someone to save my friends, or my family, of course I would, but not until I’d explored every other option and they were in immediate physical danger. Last resort. Why would he… Why would he think that I would just…?”

“He probably wasn’t thinking, Stiles. It was a bad time for all of us.”

“High school was a bad time for all of us.”

“I’m not excusing what he did—”

“You’re making excuses though.”

“I’m just saying that… It was so soon after the Nogitsune, and Allison, and everyone left—”

“Which is exactly why we should have been closer! Closed ranks, trusting each other!”

“You’re right.”

“It’s in the past now. We’ve talked, and I forgave him, I forgive him, I do. I know it was a shitty time and shitty circumstances for everyone, and we all could have done things differently and maybe everything would have turned out better. But some part of me will always think… after everything. Scott doesn’t fully trust me. He didn’t then, and I can never be sure if he does now.”

“He does.”

“I know he does. I am ninety-nine percent sure that he trusts me completely. But he might only trust me ninety-nine percent of the time. And that one percent is enough that we’re never gonna be like we were.”

“You know that changed a long time before Donovan.”

“But that was the other way around. I always had Scott’s back, through everything. Through all the werewolf stuff, through all the shit that came with it, I always had Scott’s back even when he didn’t have mine. Even when he had his head up his ass about Allison and left me for dead, multiple times, I still had his back.”

“You still do.”

“I do. And I used to think I always would. But there’s a difference between not knowing I’m in danger and not being there, and believing I am the danger.”

“Stiles, you’ll always have Scott’s back.”

“Maybe. I hope so. I will. Until he gives me another reason not to.”


	5. Melissa

“Do you ever blame me for getting Scott into this?”

“Only sometimes.”

“Thanks.”

“No, it’s not your fault Stiles. You were both dumbassess to go out alone in the woods looking for a dead body, but nothing that came out of that was your fault.”

“Ha. You said dumbasses.”

“It’s what you are.”

“Hey, no argument here. Scott still refuses to watch Star Wars.”

“He’s an odd one. But we love him.”

“We do. But still. It’s not even a nerdy thing, it’s pop culture. Like Toy Story.”

“Scott’s seen Toy Story.”

“He says he hasn’t.”

“He has. I remember watching it with him as a kid.”

“Either he had no memory of this, or he’s lying to me. And he refuses to watch it with me.”

“Well, he was always freaked out by those weird mismatched toys.”

“I should make him watch it at the next pack movie night.”

“How was the last one?”

“Well, Lydia wanted to watch The Notebook—”

“Obviously.”

“But we vetoed it and went with An American Werewolf in London instead, because again. Scott still hadn’t seen it.”

“Of course not.”

“Which of course led to Lydia crying about Jackson even though they’ve been over for years and have both moved on.”

“Sometimes it’s like that with old relationships. I think you’d have some sympathy for that Stiles.”

“I will always love Lydia, it’s true, but I haven’t cried over her in at least… a while. I’m not sure. But it’s been a while.”

“What about Malia?”

“What about her?”

“Any tears there?”

“I mean, Malia’s great and I love her, but I don’t think I ever was in love with her, you know?”

“Why not?”

“Well, because we got together when I was… in Eichen. And after everything I cared about her, I wanted to help her and be her friend, but I think I might have also been using our relationship to ignore some other… feelings.”

“For Derek.”

“What? Who said anything about Derek.”

“Stiles.”

“Oh, come on. Don’t look at me like that. I… It’s not that obvious is it?”

“Oh, honey.”

“Nooo, don’t say that. We’re in a good place right now, I don’t want to ruin it.”

“That doesn’t sound like you.”

“Yeah, well I’m turning over a new leaf. Derek and I are friends and I’m not going to do anything to jeopardize that.”

“You know, there’s a good chance doing nothing about your feelings could affect your relationship.”

“Nope. I am the king of ignoring the problem until it goes away.”

“No you aren’t.”

“No, I’m not, but like I said. New leaf, remember?”

“I think you should tell him.”

“But we’ve got such a good thing going right now. Everything is stable, the pack is a unit, we’re cohesive, we’re happy. I don’t want to be the one to wreck that. For everyone.”

“Stiles, I’ve seen the way he looks at you too. I’m fairly positive there’s nothing you could say that would ruin your friendship.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Ok, there’s a lot you could say. But not about this.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“You do that.”

“I’m gonna go throw up now.”

“Call me if you need anything.”


	6. Derek Again

“You like me.”

“I don’t know why.”

“You want to date me.”

“It’s our anniversary, I would hope so.”

“You want to hug me, you want to kiss me.”

“Stop quoting Miss Congeniality at me.”

“I love you.”

“I know.”

“Shut up. Stop quoting Star Wars at me. You’re not cute.”

“You love it.”

“I do.”

“I love you too.”

“I know.”

“I’m going to hurt you.”

“Love you too.”

“You said that already.”

“I’ll say it again, don’t test me.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”


End file.
